Dogs are Not Humans

This morning, Mommy let me outside because I was starting to whimper a little bit. I couldn't help it--I hadn't been outside for 10 hours! She went back to bed, so after taking care of business, I started investigating the yard to see what was new. I found some green fruit (score!), evidence of birds (duh, we had just chased them away) and a wee bit of poop. I got the tiniest measure on my paw and Mommy had a fit. I heard Daddy just rat on me and tell Mommy that I rolled in some more when we were out walking. Some things should be kept between you and me, buddy.